(Please note that this post was written when I was still pregnant with baby #2, in my third trimester)
Being a parent beautifully changes your life, and in all honesty, it seems like nothing prepares you for the reality. All that I know about being a parent(which was all theory), all that I gathered from books,experts, my mom, siblings, cousins, friends with kids, did not truly prepare me to be a mom, yes, this ‘theory’ did give me an idea of what it was like to be a mom but the moment I became a parent myself then did I experience the reality of being a parent.
As a first-time mom, I learned a few things that I believe will help me parent our second baby differently. Even though every child is different and they all come with different challenges, however, I believe these lessons that can also help a new or expectant first-time parent in their journey, you can have it in your “what-to-expert” notes so you can always refer to.
Here are 5 things I’m doing differently as a second-time mom in no particular order:
With my first child, one of the things I feel I did wrong was not accepting help because I always thought that ‘only me (as the mom) can do it better’ so I would end up declining any type of help that was offered tome even from my husband. I did most things for our first child. Even when we would visit family I would do everything from bathing, feeding, washing baby clothesI would do everything myself.
I had some type of mom-OCD thing going on. I would sometimes re-do something that was done for me if I felt it was not done how I want it to be done. I remember this one time I re-ironed our baby’s clothes because I didn’t like how they were folded lol. Looking back at that now, I realize how big of a mistake that was, because since I was always on this always ON Super Mom mode I didn’t have much free time to develop my spiritual,emotional, physical life, I didn’t have time to nurture my friendships or create new ones with moms around me.
I’m so thankful that God revealed this to my husband and he helped through it. With my second I will Accept help, so I can have time to refuel myself. Accepting help doesn’t make you a bad parent, it doesn’t mean you failing as a parent but instead, it makes you a better parent because with the free time you can refuel yourself to be able to fuel your baby with less stress.
Sever the moment
I plan to get to know the baby more, bond more with him because I’ve realized that every baby goes through each stage only once. He/she won’t be a newborn for long. Reflux, colic, constant night feeds and clingy baby stage it all eventually ends, so I plan to enjoy time with my baby at every single stage more and not rush any milestone. Your now non-stop crying newborn will soon be a very active / “I can do it myself” 3 years old who at times may not want to be all cuddly but always on the move. With baby #2 I’m living in the moment, no rush whatsoever.
Streamline the baby products
Most moms as soon as they find out they’re expecting,they tend to buy every baby product they can get their hands on and often time70%, if not more of the items bought the baby does not use nor need. I remember when I first became a mom, I bought different baby skincare products, I had shampoos from different brands,different sensitive baby creams, all that I realized my baby didn’t need, more than anything a fragrance-free cleanser ended up being all I used and it worked best. This time around I plan to buy only what the baby will need, I am not buying much stuff plus I saved most of my first baby’s essential stuff like a car seat, stroller, and bath-unit, etc.
I feel like I was living under a rock with this one, I didn’t do it much with my first, I don’t even have a reason why, I guess I didn’t know the benefits. I had a baby carrier that I’d use once in a while, I used a stroller more especially for when we went out but I have learned so many benefits of baby wearing (I will be sharing on my next post) I am definitely going to wear my baby more this time around.
This time around I plan to have a general idea of how I wish for my baby’s birth to happen, I know some things may be out of my control however there are decisions that I can take myself. With my first I was induced without my approval, I didn’t sign anything, back then I didn’t know I could refuse. I didn’t wish for my baby to be vaccinated but she was without my consent. This time around I have to a birth plan, I plan to be in control of what I can.
That’s my list, I hope it will be beneficial to any expectant mom.
In the comments below share what you plan to do differently with your second or third? Or share what advice you would give to a first time mom/parent.